Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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