don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
