we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
