Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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