He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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