Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
