I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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