Swine flu. Run for my life!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
