therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
