it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's blow job season.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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