PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
