I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize