What did we do last night that was yellow?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
