We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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