i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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