I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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