so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
