You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
