The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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