I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
