every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
