Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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