He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
