He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
