I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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