WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
