1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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