Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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