I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
