I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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