he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We don't watch enough power rangers
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
