just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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