I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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