at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
