he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
