This is not my ceiling
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
