I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
