i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just threw up on my dentist
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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