Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
