I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
