He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
