A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
