Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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