So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
