Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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