Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
