She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
