Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
