yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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