after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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