new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
