Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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