tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
