I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
