Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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