I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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