I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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